Final Thoughts

For so long the whole world was just a bus ticket away. For ten months the opportunity at spontaneity, the ability to change course and simply go was a constant. I was always just a few miles from something beautiful to stare at while I thought of far off things. The best part was the rapidity at which everything changed. This was the ultimate freedom, and within this freedom I found some clarity. When I departed from New York last February I feared the physical possibilities of danger. Things like sickness or injury. When I left Chile I feared damage to my new found spirituality. I was afraid that the new expectations I had of myself would quickly be forgotten. What if I came home and forgot the truth that I had uncovered while at a consistent distance. The reality is that I am struggling. Struggling to accept life in the United States and the way that I myself live. I am fighting internally between the girl that was on the road for so long and the one I was before South America. I find myself confused as to who I am now that I can be neither person with my whole heart. I face a daily challenge to be the person I would like to be. The truth is that the trip may have ended and I may be back on home turf but the journey is far from over. Now instead of a backpack I carry  both perspective and an internal struggle on my back.  South America was my road to discovery and freedom; North America holds the challenge of walking uphill with heavier things on my back.